Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 8 August, 2008 by John Evans
P - a wand of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed.  I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death.  You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.'  There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet.  'Go!' said Gandalf.  With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details. create
teleport            
|...................
|...................
-------.....--------
      |.....|       
      |..@..|       
######-.....|       
      -------
@ "A what now?" 
You zap the wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed.  I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death.  You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.'  There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet.  'Go!' said Gandalf.  With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details..   
A teleport appears! 
|...................
|...................
-------\....--------
      |.\...|       
      |..@..|       
######-.....|       
      -------       

|...................
|...................
|...................
|...................
-------^....--------
      |.....|       
      |..@..|       
######-.....|       
      -------
@ "Hmmm..." 
You enter the blue  
teleport!--More--   
|...................
|...................
-------@....--------
      |.....|       
      |.....|       
######-.....|       
      -------       

You exit the orangeWhat was the fruit like?  Unfortunately, no one can describe
a taste.  All I can say is that, compared with those fruits,
the freshest grapefruit you've ever eaten was dull, and the
juiciest orange was dry, and the most melting pear was hard
and woody, and the sweetest wild strawberry was sour.  And
there were no seeds or stones, and no wasps.  If you had once
eaten that fruit, all the nicest things in this world would
taste like medicines after it.  But I can't describe it.  You
can't find out what it is like unless you can get to that
country and taste it for yourself.
        [ The Last Battle, by C.S. Lewis ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details. 
teleport!           
....| |.............
..*@| |.............
----- -------.....--
            |.....| 
            |.....| 
############-.....| 
            ------- 

Q - a gray cube     
named "companion"   
....| |.............
..@^| |.............
----- -------.....--
            |.....| 
            |.....| 
############-.....| 
            -------
@ "Uh-oh."
http://dudley.nicolaas.net
The weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak...

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

33593
Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 23

Comments

Wellan August 8, 2008 00:27
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
I get the reference, but I still find it a bit too obscure. On the other hand, that's an interesting analogy for a loadstone. G.
Slowpoke August 8, 2008 01:46
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
Rated 'P' for 'PortalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.'. No, just kidding.
hpp3 August 8, 2008 01:46
First comment: 21 November, 2007 38 comments written
PortalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. comic. Good.
idontexist August 8, 2008 06:28
First comment: 19 July, 2008 35 comments written
Good. I actually snickered a little bit.
Arle August 8, 2008 07:10
First comment: 2 June, 2008 29 comments written
Win.
Hugh Hawkes August 8, 2008 11:08
First comment: 8 August, 2008 1 comments written
I don't get it. What is 'Q'? What is a 'companion'? Is it something to do with one of these movies or TV shows that I've never seen? Or a game perhaps (maybe that PortalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. game that I've read a little about, but never actually played)?

Huh?
Nameless August 8, 2008 12:54
First comment: 29 December, 2004 281 comments written
Right, so it's referencing PortalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details., but the actual joke is ...?
Quint Sakugarne August 8, 2008 13:03
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
I think the actual joke is just a PortalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. reference.

Fairly bland but well-polished execution of an obscure reference. Rated Good.
Quint Sakugarne August 8, 2008 13:08
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
Okay, granted, it's not all that obscure, since it's a (computer?) game that's going around these days--I haven't even played it and I've heard enough references to the weighted companion cube, the portalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. mechanic, GLaDOS, and the cake being a lie, to make me crazy.

Okay, only mildly crazy. Halo still annoys me about the same as much, as does Counterstrike (although that's fallen out of popularity in recent years).
Nesman August 8, 2008 14:14
First comment: 4 January, 2005 112 comments written
Rated fair, since there's not actually a joke. Let's hope there's a part-two tomorrow with a punchline.

PortalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. is an excellent game with great writing and unique play mechanics. It manages to create a really interesting atmosphere.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portal_(video_game)
zem August 8, 2008 16:15
First comment: 5 December, 2005 64 comments written
i'm with nesman
321zero August 8, 2008 16:56
First comment: 25 April, 2008 12 comments written
Great execution, but this joke is pretty much dead. G.
flatluigi August 8, 2008 20:43
First comment: 23 November, 2006 28 comments written
A reference never stands on its own as a joke.
hpp3 August 8, 2008 23:32
First comment: 21 November, 2007 38 comments written
I'm pretty sure that the part with the "uh oh" at the end is the joke.
T-Jack August 8, 2008 23:49
First comment: 16 March, 2008 52 comments written
I'm giving it an M, because this is not a joke, and because Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube (one of the best video game characters, bz the way) is pink, not gray.
Arle August 9, 2008 01:43
First comment: 2 June, 2008 29 comments written
The joke is the fact that he's realizing just where he is and what he's gonna have to deal with. Honestly, I see this one with some potential for some chain comics.
kothe August 9, 2008 04:10
First comment: 9 August, 2008 2 comments written
@T-Jack:

The Weighted Companion Cube is neither fully gray nor fully pink - it's a combination of both. A 'pink and gray' cube would have been preferable, but of the two gray is more accurate.

http://www.redsmartie.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/weighted-companion-cube.png
@ August 9, 2008 07:07
First comment: 26 July, 2004 155 comments written
Fair. It's more of a juxtaposition than a joke (like... mostly everyone has said) and therefore not all that funny.

I've never played PortalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. but I know a lot about it except for the plot from magazines, websites, videos, etc. Not very obscure in my opinion.
@ August 9, 2008 07:08
First comment: 26 July, 2004 155 comments written
Oh and, on panels 5 and 6, the blue portalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. disappears. It shouldn't.
Eskimo August 11, 2008 12:16
First comment: 14 April, 2004 166 comments written
Just tried PortalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. for the first time last week :)
Nameless Fairy August 15, 2008 12:24
First comment: 26 September, 2007 22 comments written
If you're going to rely on a reference, you could at least make it timelier than that.
MadDawg2552 October 10, 2008 18:48
First comment: 6 October, 2008 69 comments written
What happens when the wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. runs out of charges? I'm seriously worried about Dudley's wellbeing here.
1122 3934
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