Dudley's dungeon -- Tuesday, 27 February, 2007

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2	2	2	6	1

Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 13

Comments

G	February 27, 2007 02:12
First comment: 5 October, 2005	82 comments written
Not terrible as much as too long
Kernigh	February 27, 2007 04:12
First comment: 6 April, 2005	349 comments written
Meanwhile in the news... ` ` ` ` NEW SHOPPING CENTER LOSES ENTIRE INVENTORY ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` Surving Shopkeers Plan Revenge ` ` Matagami Properties had filled The Mall Of Angmagssalik with eager tenants, including a cinema, four department stores, over a dozen food vendors and nearly a hundred smaller shops, all expecting a crowded grand opening. But the otherwise careful preparations failed to account for a crowd that was less human and more catImagine a sealed container, so perfectly constructed that no physical influence can pass either inwards or outwards across its walls. Imagine that inside the container is a cat, and also a device that can be triggered by some quantum event. If that event takes place, then the device smashes a phial containing cyanide and the cat is killed. If the event does not take place, the cat lives on. In Schroedinger's original version, the quantum event was the decay of a radioactive atom. ... To the outside observer, the cat is indeed in a linear combination of being alive and dead, and only when the container is finally opened would the cat's state vector collapse into one or the other. On the other hand, to a (suitably protected) observer inside the container, the cat's state-vector would have collapsed much earlier, and the outside observer's linear combination has no relevance. [ The Emperor's New Mind, by Roger Penrose ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. and dogA domestic animal, the _tame dog_ (_Canis familiaris_), of which numerous breeds exist. The male is called a dog, while the female is called a bitch. Because of its known loyalty to man and gentleness with children, it is the world's most popular domestic animal. It can easily be trained to perform various tasks. Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.. ` ` When the doors opened, housecats, dogs, ponies and other pets rushed through all entrances. Over the repetitive howling, yipping and purring, the animals dragged all of the new merchandise from the shelves and brought them to the parking lot outside, where their owners had apparently stockpiled apples and tripeIf you start from scratch, cooking tripe is a long-drawn-out affair. Fresh whole tripe calls for a minimum of 12 hours of cooking, some time-honored recipes demanding as much as 24. To prepare fresh tripe, trim if necessary. Wash it thoroughly, soaking overnight, and blanch, for 1/2 hour in salted water. Wash well again, drain and cut for cooking. When cooked, the texture of tripe should be like that of soft gristle. More often, alas, because the heat has not been kept low enough, it has the consistency of wet shoe leather. [ Joy of Cooking, by I Rombauer and M Becker ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. rations as rewards. ` ` Some mall and shop employees fled, while others tried to fight the enemy menace without much success. "Whenever I killed a catImagine a sealed container, so perfectly constructed that no physical influence can pass either inwards or outwards across its walls. Imagine that inside the container is a cat, and also a device that can be triggered by some quantum event. If that event takes place, then the device smashes a phial containing cyanide and the cat is killed. If the event does not take place, the cat lives on. In Schroedinger's original version, the quantum event was the decay of a radioactive atom. ... To the outside observer, the cat is indeed in a linear combination of being alive and dead, and only when the container is finally opened would the cat's state vector collapse into one or the other. On the other hand, to a (suitably protected) observer inside the container, the cat's state-vector would have collapsed much earlier, and the outside observer's linear combination has no relevance. [ The Emperor's New Mind, by Roger Penrose ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details., another catWell-known quadruped domestic animal from the family of predatory felines (_Felis ochreata domestica_), with a thick, soft pelt; often kept as a pet. Various folklores have the cat associated with magic and the gods of ancient Egypt. So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people awakened at dawn - behold! Every cat was back at his accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped, yellow and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content. [ The Cats of Ulthar, by H.P. Lovecraft ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. would just eat its corpse," complained shopkeeperThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species. Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. Inishbofin. ` ` But the most lethal disaster involved an Umber hulkUmber hulks are powerful subterranean predators whose iron-like claws allow them to burrow through solid stone in search of prey. They are tremendously strong; muscles bulge beneath their thick, scaly hides and their powerful arms and legs all end in great claws. Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. that had managed to bore through the shop walls and slay at least ten of the shopkeepers. Mall security attempted to fight the hulkUmber hulks are powerful subterranean predators whose iron-like claws allow them to burrow through solid stone in search of prey. They are tremendously strong; muscles bulge beneath their thick, scaly hides and their powerful arms and legs all end in great claws. Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details., but most shooted or clubbed the wrong direction. "It was a confusing experience," moaned a wounded guardThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species. Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.. ` ` [Early today, a spokesperson of the Association of Pet Food Vendors denied the existence of Umber hulks.] ` ` "Shopkeeping is not a profitable occuption," explained Professor Jiu of the University of Dobrinishte. "The only solution to shoplifting is to outlaw shopkeeping." ` ` However Carignan, President of Matagami Properties, remained defiant. "If we cannot succeed on the surface, then we will move into the dungeons, and we will adopt stricter procedures for revenge against robbers and burglars. Petshopping will not anymore be tolerated."
Eskimo	February 27, 2007 08:31
First comment: 14 April, 2004	166 comments written
This gets a good (but that's just because of the "news") just in case we can sometimes search an archive for "good or better".
Nesman	February 27, 2007 16:29
First comment: 4 January, 2005	112 comments written
Anybody that gave this a poor rating must have missed the reference.
Talita	February 27, 2007 18:29
First comment: 7 February, 2007	20 comments written
I don't get the reference. What is it?
SQLGuru	February 27, 2007 20:15
First comment: 23 October, 2006	77 comments written
The Princess Bride. IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093779/ And of course the requisite reading: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093779/quotes (search for just about any dialog with Inigo Montoya). Layne
Mighty Tater	February 27, 2007 20:48
First comment: 8 February, 2007	15 comments written
"He wasn't alone? Inconceivable!"
Dav	February 27, 2007 21:06
First comment: 26 June, 2004	147 comments written
I've seen The Princess Bride maybe 10 times, and I rated this mediocre because it just isn't very funny.
Slowpoke	February 27, 2007 23:18
First comment: 27 February, 2007	239 comments written
For what little it's worth, Kernigh seems to have sussed out that the strip was more of a contemplation of what would happen if the shopkeepers as a class ever started to wise up a little, with Princess Bride used as the means of expressing the vengeance motive, than an attempt to graft the memorable lines from that movie into the Dudley milieu. Doing the latter would be one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer. [War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. [Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine. [Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. [ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never do movie parodies in Dudley's Dungeon.
Kernigh	February 28, 2007 05:51
First comment: 6 April, 2005	349 comments written
Meanwhile I know more about NetHack than about movies. Maybe the shopkeepers should build a cinema in the dungeon?
Grognor	April 22, 2007 09:23
First comment: 4 April, 2007	1161 comments written
BOOM Grognor has tragically... exploded.

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