Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 29 December, 2006 by Nameless
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@ "Well, I killed all your guards. Again." 
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@ "Phht, you got lucky. Destroy the—" 
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@ "No! No more games. Rodney; I challenge thee to a duel!" 
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@ "Okay, just for calling me Rodney I am going to totally pwn your arse now. I accept your offer!" 
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@ "Okay. We shall each take turns using spells to decide the greater of our powers." 
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@ "The duel shall be judged by this randomly passing waterDay after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere
Nor any drop to drink.
        [ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor
         Coleridge ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. trollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.."
T "Hi Dudley."
@ "Hi." 
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@ "Great! I'll go first."
Cast Finger of death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.. 
You kill Rodney.    
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@ "W00t. Head shot."
http://dudley.nicolaas.net

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
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Rating

111241
Average rating: Mediocre
Number of ratings: 19

Comments

Fathead December 29, 2006 01:55
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
It was like in the Harry Potter universe. With Avada Kedavra, how was there any such a thing as a fair fight?
L December 29, 2006 04:14
First comment: 10 February, 2005 285 comments written
The return of the waterDay after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere
Nor any drop to drink.
        [ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor
         Coleridge ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. trollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. from awhile back!
Am Shaedan December 29, 2006 11:19
First comment: 18 May, 2004 49 comments written
The sixth panel was the climax. The rest..? Meh.
Roger Barnett December 29, 2006 14:38
First comment: 7 April, 2006 143 comments written
Give the WizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. a set of Gray DragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. Scale Mail... then have the duel.
Grey Knight December 29, 2006 20:50
First comment: 20 October, 2005 116 comments written
Even ignoring "I am going to totally pwn your arse now", I remain unexcited.
Mantar December 31, 2006 18:54
First comment: 17 June, 2004 197 comments written
Fathead: Yeah, nothing's fair in the Harry Potter universe -- it's riddled with deus ex machinas to shore up thin spots in Rowling's moderately skilled writing.
Ever wonder how much it must suck to be an ordinary quidditch playerThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details., busting your ass to get a twenty point lead only to have the opposing team's seeker, some guy named 'larry dodder' or something, grab the magical winged whoozitz and cause you to lose anyway?

I'm surprised they don't all just go home and let the seekers play by themselves since nothing they do matters. But that would highlight how rigged the whole Potter universe is, so they don't.
(Funny, I still like Harry Potter.)
G January 2, 2007 19:20
First comment: 5 October, 2005 82 comments written
Love the watertroll
sqwishy January 11, 2007 16:41
First comment: 6 December, 2006 2 comments written
I really liked it, the watertroll was funny as well as the ending punchline too. It may be because I'm quite a gamer, but I really don't know why other people didn't like this!
Grognor April 21, 2007 23:19
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Because it isn't funny.
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http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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