Dudley's dungeon

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Wednesday, 24 September, 2008 by itsmeyouidiot
Konnichi wa Dudley, 
welcome to NetHack! 
You are lucky!      
Full moon tonight.  
      ---+---       
      |.....|       
      |..@..|       
  ####-.....|       
      -------
@ "I have decided/To play as a samuraiBy that time, Narahara had already slipped his arm from the
sleeve of his outer robe, drew out his two-and-a-half-foot
Fujiwara Tadahiro sword, and, brandishing it over his head,
began barreling toward the foreigners. In less than a minute,
he had charged upon them and cut one of them through the torso.
The man fled, clutching his bulging guts, finally to fall from
his horse at the foot of a pine tree about a thousand yards
away. Kaeda Takeji finished him off. The other two Englishmen
were severely wounded as they tried to flee. Only the woman
managed to escape virtually unscathed.
        [ The Fox-horse, from Drunk as a Lord, by Ryotaro Shiba ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./Just to be different" 
                    
         #          
         r          
         r          
      ---@---       
      |..rrr|       
      |.....|       
  ####-.....|       
      -------
The wererat bites!/The wererat calls for help!/The ratRats are long-tailed rodents. They are aggressive,
omnivorous, and adaptable, often carrying diseases.

"The rat," said O'Brien, still addressing his invisible
audience, "although a rodent, is carnivorous. You are aware
of that. You will have heard of the things that happen in
the poor quarters of this town. In some streets a woman dare
not leave her baby alone in the house, even for five minutes.
The rats are certain to attack it. Within quite a small time
they will strip it to the bones. They also attack sick or
dying people. They show astonishing intelligence in knowing
when a human being is helpless."
        [ 1984, by George Orwell ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. bites! You die... 
    ------------    
   /  REST IN   \   
  /    PEACE     \  
 /                \ 
 |     Dudley     | 
 |    killed in   | 
 |     haiku      | 
 |    *  *  *     | 
 /\\_/(\/(/\)\//\/|
http://dudley.nicolaas.net

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Rating

12472
Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 16

Comments

@ September 24, 2008 01:38
First comment: 26 July, 2004 155 comments written
A decent comic
By Itsmeyouidiot
I give it a G.
Slowpoke September 24, 2008 02:01
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense,
Refrigerator.

Sum Yung Guy September 24, 2008 02:16
First comment: 24 September, 2008 1 comments written
There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh, "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."
Wellan September 24, 2008 03:53
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
Heh...

Though I think "wererat" is 2 syllables, not 3. But that's a minor detail.
rpresser September 24, 2008 05:07
First comment: 6 October, 2005 51 comments written
A turner of phrases quite pleasin'
Had a penchant for trick'ry and teasin'.
In his songs, the last line
Might seem sans design
What I mean is, without why or wherefore.
Toby Bartels September 24, 2008 10:29
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
It's a pet peeve of mineMade by Dwarfs. The Rule here is that the Mine is either long
deserted or at most is inhabited by a few survivors who will
make confused claims to have been driven out/decimated by humans/
other Dwarfs/Minions of the Dark Lord. Inhabited or not, this
Mine will be very complex, with many levels of galleries,
beautifully carved and engineered. What was being mined here
is not always evident, but at least some of the time it will
appear to have been Jewels, since it is customary to find
unwanted emeralds, etc., still embedded in the rock of the
walls. Metal will also be present, but only when made up into
armor and weapons (_wondrous_).
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. that people think that the point of a haiku is the number of syllables. In fact, meaningful breaks between the lines are much more important than the number of syllables within them, and none of this matters compared to the poetic content, which is entirely missing from all of these examples (both in the comic and in the comments).

That said, the comic is still funny (as are some of the comments). So you've simultaneously pissed me off and made me laugh --good job!
Beolach September 24, 2008 10:58
First comment: 28 December, 2004 4 comments written
Pretty good, but where's the continuation of MedusaMedusa, one of the three Gorgons or Graeae, is the only one
of her sisters to have assumed mortal form and inhabited the
dungeon world.

When Perseus was grown up Polydectes sent him to attempt the
conquest of Medusa, a terrible monster who had laid waste the
country. She was once a beautiful maiden whose hair was her
chief glory, but as she dared to vie in beauty with Minerva,
the goddess deprived her of her charms and changed her
beautiful ringlets into hissing serpents. She became a cruel
monster of so frightful an aspect that no living thing could
behold her without being turned into stone. All around the
cavern where she dwelt might be seen the stony figures of men
and animals which had chanced to catch a glimpse of her and
had been petrified with the sight. Perseus, favoured by
Minerva and Mercury, the former of whom lent him her shield
and the latter his winged shoes, approached Medusa while she
slept and taking care not to look directly at her, but guided
by her image reflected in the bright shield which he bore, he
cut off her head and gave it to Minerva, who fixed it in the
middle of her Aegis.
        [ Bulfinch's Mythology, by Thomas Bulfinch ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.-head-in-a-jar?
Ren September 24, 2008 12:09
First comment: 2 April, 2008 35 comments written
Konnichi wa Dudley! (6)
Welcome to Nethack! (3)
You are lucky! (3)
New moon tonight. (4)

The wererat bites (3)
The wererat calls for help (6)
The ratRats are long-tailed rodents. They are aggressive,
omnivorous, and adaptable, often carrying diseases.

"The rat," said O'Brien, still addressing his invisible
audience, "although a rodent, is carnivorous. You are aware
of that. You will have heard of the things that happen in
the poor quarters of this town. In some streets a woman dare
not leave her baby alone in the house, even for five minutes.
The rats are certain to attack it. Within quite a small time
they will strip it to the bones. They also attack sick or
dying people. They show astonishing intelligence in knowing
when a human being is helpless."
        [ 1984, by George Orwell ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. bites! You die... (5)

Rest in peace (3)
Dudley killed in haiku(5)

P for Bad Math.
Ren September 24, 2008 12:09
First comment: 2 April, 2008 35 comments written
eh, make that (5) for Welcome to Nethack.
zruty September 24, 2008 16:56
First comment: 24 September, 2008 1 comments written
It's a pet peeve of mineMade by Dwarfs. The Rule here is that the Mine is either long
deserted or at most is inhabited by a few survivors who will
make confused claims to have been driven out/decimated by humans/
other Dwarfs/Minions of the Dark Lord. Inhabited or not, this
Mine will be very complex, with many levels of galleries,
beautifully carved and engineered. What was being mined here
is not always evident, but at least some of the time it will
appear to have been Jewels, since it is customary to find
unwanted emeralds, etc., still embedded in the rock of the
walls. Metal will also be present, but only when made up into
armor and weapons (_wondrous_).
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. that people insist on re-educating us regarding haiku all the time. WE KNOW.
Toby Bartels September 24, 2008 17:38
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
zrutyThe zruty are wild and gigantic beings, living in the
wildernesses of the Tatra mountains.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.: Oh, good!
Antheridium September 25, 2008 19:03
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
This is the Dungeons of Doom. The Haiku Dungeon is the next doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. on the left.
Sum Yung Guy September 25, 2008 20:41
First comment: 25 September, 2008 1 comments written
Toby, you don't think your peeve is at the heart of the one I posted? Trying to turn a limerick into a haiku makes it a funny limerick, to me at least. YMMV.
Dav September 25, 2008 21:24
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
E to Antheridium for the KoL reference. F to the comic.
Quint Sakugarne September 26, 2008 05:15
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
attempt at comic
tried to utilize haiku
not that great of job

however it is
witty and entertaining
i give it an E
Toby Bartels September 26, 2008 05:21
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
SYG: Yours was definitely one of the funny comics. An outrageous insult to haiku, and also utterly hilarious.

I need more smileys in my posts. I thought that the silliness of being simultaneously pissed off and amused would be enough, but I think that I sounded too serious. In penance, I will write a haiku for this comic:

A lucky moon.
A wererat summoning help,
and Dudley's death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details..
Slowpoke September 26, 2008 16:27
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
Toby, just curious, why do your haiku often have four syllables instead of five in lines one and three? Are you the e. e. cummings of haiku - "rules are made to be consistently broken", thereby constituting new rules that future poets will break? :)
Toby Bartels September 27, 2008 23:04
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
Slowpoke: It's not deliberate on my part to use 4 syllables in those lines. It's just that there is no rule calling for 5 syllables there. Even Japanese haiku often have fewer than 5 syllables (but not more) in those lines.

I'm no expert on Japanese phonology, but I'd estimate that, by Japanese standards, my haiku above has 5/12/9 on (where on are the sounds that haiku have 5/7/5 of). This is because on are longer than phones (the sounds that usually correspond to letters in English) but shorter than syllables; for example, the word "on" has 2 on ("o"-"n"), while "haiku" has 3 ("ha"-"i"-"ku").

As a rank beginner, I'm focusing more on using the 3 lines properly than on the length of the lines. But the middle line of this one is probably a bit too long.
zach September 28, 2008 12:29
First comment: 25 August, 2008 2 comments written
I did not know that
counting syllables was such
an exact science
MadDawg2552 October 30, 2008 15:27
First comment: 6 October, 2008 69 comments written
English Haiku is counted in Meter because it's easier for English speaking people to understand what is going on.
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