Dudley's dungeon

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Wednesday, 14 December, 2005 by a fan
                    
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@ "Right, I am sick and tired of this. Why should it be ME who misses all the fun?"
                    
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@ "I'm going back! And I'm gonna find myself someone to love!"
                    
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@ "And there will be no more stupid quests for me!"
Some months later...
                    
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@ "Honey! I'm going out!"
@ "Again to the pub, Dudley?"
                    
                    
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@ "Yes, my princess. It's darts night."
@ "Stop calling me that! And on your way back..."
                    
                    
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@ "...get us a bottle of milk, two breads, one stone of minced beef, those small chocolates, and..."


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Rating

12862
Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 19

Comments

Nobody Special December 14, 2005 00:11
First comment: 8 June, 2005 118 comments written
I got the setup, but not the punchline.
Aaron December 14, 2005 00:20
First comment: 11 March, 2004 32 comments written
It's a stupid questMany, possibly most, Tours are organized as a Quest. This
is like a large-scale treasure hunt, with clues scattered
all over the continent, a few false leads, Mystical Masters
as game-show hosts, and the Dark Lord and the Terrain to
make the Quest interestingly difficult. [...]
In order to be assured of your future custom, the Management
has a further Rule: Tourists, far from being rewarded for
achieving their Quest Object, must then go on to conquer
the Dark Lord or set about Saving the World, or both. And
why not? By then you will have had a lot of practice in
that sort of thing and, besides, the Quest Object is usually
designed to help you do it.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
Grey Knight December 14, 2005 01:04
First comment: 20 October, 2005 116 comments written
Nice try, Dudley!
Nameless December 14, 2005 02:13
First comment: 29 December, 2004 281 comments written
@ ",and... some nice jewelery for my mum, it's her birthday soon. I've heard a lot about some kind of an amulet of yendorThis mysterious talisman is the object of your quest. It is
said to possess powers which mere mortals can scarcely
comprehend, let alone utilize. The gods will grant the gift of
immortality to the adventurer who can deliver it from the
depths of Moloch's Sanctum and offer it on the appropriate high
altar on the Astral Plane.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
? That would be nice, wouldn't it honey?"
eneekmot@yahoo.com December 14, 2005 15:40
First comment: 29 December, 2004 57 comments written
And that was the part I hated most about...
That was the part I hated about EVERY RPG GAME EVER MADE!
blindcoder@scavenger.homeip.net December 14, 2005 17:21
First comment: 30 August, 2005 2 comments written
The lovestory thing?
Yeah, it sucks big time each time. They can't even make movies without a lovestory anymore coughtitaniccoughDie Luftbrueckecoughdungeons and dragonscough
Grey Knight December 14, 2005 18:11
First comment: 20 October, 2005 116 comments written
Don't forget Hitch Hiker's Guide"Rincewind!"
Twoflower sprang off the bed. The wizard jumped back,
wrenching his features into a smile.
"My dear chap, right on time! We'll just have lunch, and
then I'm sure you've got a wonderful programme lined up for
this afternoon!"
"Er --"
"That's great!"
Rincewind took a deep breath. "Look," he said desperately,
"let's eat somewhere else. There's been a bit of a fight
down below."
"A tavern brawl? Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Well, you see, I - _what_?"
"I thought I made myself clear this morning, Rincewind. I
want to see genuine Morporkian life - the slave market, the
Whore Pits, the Temple of Small Gods, the Beggar's Guild...
and a genuine tavern brawl." A faint note of suspicion
entered Twoflower's voice. "You _do_ have them, don't you?
You know, people swinging on chandeliers, swordfights over
the table, the sort of thing Hrun the Barbarian and the
Weasel are always getting involved in. You know --
_excitement_."
        [ The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
to the Galaxy. ArthurEctor took both his sons to the church before which the
anvil had been placed. There, standing before the anvil, he
commanded Kay: "Put the sword back into the steel if you
really think the throne is yours!" But the sword glanced
off the steel. "Now it is your turn", Ector said facing
Arthur.
The young man lifted the sword and thrust with both arms; the
blade whizzed through the air with a flash and drilled the
metal as if it were mere butter. Ector and Kay dropped to
their knees before Arthur.
"Why, father and brother, do you bow before me?", Arthur asked
with wonder in his voice.
"Because now I know for sure that you are the king, not only
by birth but also by law", Ector said. "You are no son of
mine nor are you Kay's brother. Immediately after your birth,
Merlin the Wise brought you to me to be raised safely. And
though it was me that named you Arthur when you were baptized,
you are really the son of brave king Uther Pendragon and queen
Igraine..."
And after these words, the lord rose and went to see the arch-
bishop to impart to him what had passed.
[ Van Gouden Tijden Zingen de Harpen, by Vladimir Hulpach,
        Emanuel Frynta, and Vackav Cibula ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Dent? Getting the girl? What?
Fathead July 19, 2006 20:17
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Dungeoneers should NOT get married. Hackers can, though.
Fathead April 17, 2007 05:07
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Bad Fathead, bad.
Grognor June 9, 2007 05:26
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
F@#k it. It seems my name was replaced with Fathead for SEVERAL strips.
Toby Bartels December 18, 2007 16:44
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
I always suspected that Fathead and Grognor wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
the same person...

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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