Dudley's dungeon

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Monday, 12 May, 2008

by Wellan

-------------- ---............\| \|...%..........\| ---......`......*-- ......@..h......... ---................ \|................ --......%..------ \|.........\| @ "Just this dwarfDwarfs have faces like men (ugly men, with wrinkled, leathery skins), but are generally either flat-footed, duck-footed, or have feet pointing backwards. They are of the earth, earthy, living in the darkest of caverns and venturing forth only with the cloaks by which they can make themselves invisible, and others disguised as toads. Miners often come across them, and sometimes establish reasonably close relations with them. ... The miners of Cornwall were always delighted to hear a bucca busily mining away, for all dwarfs have an infallible nose for precious metals. Among other things, dwarfs are rightly valued for their skill as blacksmiths and jewellers: they made Odin his famous spear Gungnir, and Thor his hammer; for Freya they designed a magnificent necklace, and for Frey a golden boar. And in their spare time they are excellent bakers. Ironically, despite their odd feet, they are particularly fond of dancing. They can also see into the future, and consequently are excellent meteorologists. They can be free with presents to people they like, and a dwarvish gift is likely to turn to gold in the hand. But on the whole they are a snappish lot. [ The Immortals, by Derek and Julia Parker ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. lord left on this level... Let's end this quickly. What spells do I have?"	-------------- ---............\| \|...%..........\| ---......`......*-- ......@..h......... ---................ \|................ --......%..------ \|.........\| @ "Hm...force bolt...that doesn't do enough damage...fireball fails most of the time..."	-------------- ---............\| \|...%..........\| ---......`......*-- ......@..h......... ---................ \|................ --......%..------ \|.........\| @ "Hey, look at this! I can cast magic missile with a 0% failure rate! And it's my "special spell"!"	-------------- ---............\| \|...%..........\| ---......`......*-- ......@..h......... ---................ \|................ --......%..------ \|.........\| @ "I wonder what happens when you cast your special spell? It has to be powerful, right?"
-------------- ---............\| \|...%..........\| ---......`......*-- ......@..h......... ---................ \|................ --......%..------ \|.........\| @ "...I'll do it. Cast magic missile!"	--- /-- --- / --- \| / --- \| \| --- \| \ --- \ *--- \-- SILE	* /----\ * * / \ * * \| /--\\| * * \| \| \|\| * * \| \---/ * * \ * * \-----/ * MAGIC MISSILE	--\ --- \ --- /-\\| --- \|\| --- \--/ --- --- ---/ *--- MAGI
-------------- ---............\| \|.\.\|./........\| ---......`......*-- ....-.@.-h......... ---................ \|./.\|.\.......... --......%..------ \|.........\| SFX: "mrrreee ... eeooowww..."	-------------- ---............\| \|..............\| ---..\\|/.`......*-- .....-@-.h......... ---../\|\........... \|................ --......%..------ \|.........\| SFX: "eeerrr ... ooooowwww!"	The magic missile misses the dwarfDwarfs have faces like men (ugly men, with wrinkled, leathery skins), but are generally either flat-footed, duck-footed, or have feet pointing backwards. They are of the earth, earthy, living in the darkest of caverns and venturing forth only with the cloaks by which they can make themselves invisible, and others disguised as toads. Miners often come across them, and sometimes establish reasonably close relations with them. ... The miners of Cornwall were always delighted to hear a bucca busily mining away, for all dwarfs have an infallible nose for precious metals. Among other things, dwarfs are rightly valued for their skill as blacksmiths and jewellers: they made Odin his famous spear Gungnir, and Thor his hammer; for Freya they designed a magnificent necklace, and for Frey a golden boar. And in their spare time they are excellent bakers. Ironically, despite their odd feet, they are particularly fond of dancing. They can also see into the future, and consequently are excellent meteorologists. They can be free with presents to people they like, and a dwarvish gift is likely to turn to gold in the hand. But on the whole they are a snappish lot. [ The Immortals, by Derek and Julia Parker ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. lord. ---......`......*-- ......@-------..... ---................ \|................ --......%..------ \|.........\| @ "With cinematics like that, you'd think that it'd be a bit more accurate."	The dwarfDwarfs have faces like men (ugly men, with wrinkled, leathery skins), but are generally either flat-footed, duck-footed, or have feet pointing backwards. They are of the earth, earthy, living in the darkest of caverns and venturing forth only with the cloaks by which they can make themselves invisible, and others disguised as toads. Miners often come across them, and sometimes establish reasonably close relations with them. ... The miners of Cornwall were always delighted to hear a bucca busily mining away, for all dwarfs have an infallible nose for precious metals. Among other things, dwarfs are rightly valued for their skill as blacksmiths and jewellers: they made Odin his famous spear Gungnir, and Thor his hammer; for Freya they designed a magnificent necklace, and for Frey a golden boar. And in their spare time they are excellent bakers. Ironically, despite their odd feet, they are particularly fond of dancing. They can also see into the future, and consequently are excellent meteorologists. They can be free with presents to people they like, and a dwarvish gift is likely to turn to gold in the hand. But on the whole they are a snappish lot. [ The Immortals, by Derek and Julia Parker ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. lord is blinded by the special effects! ---......`......*-- ......@..h......... ---................ \|................ --......%..------ \|.........\| @ "...but I guess it'll do."
http://dudley.nicolaas.net

Five minutes later, some guy with spiky hair sued Dudley for copyright infringement.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!

Rating



























0	2	7	7	7

Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 23

Comments

@	May 12, 2008 03:35
First comment: 26 July, 2004	155 comments written
um...
gneek	May 12, 2008 06:48
First comment: 18 January, 2008	159 comments written
erm...
Eskimo	May 12, 2008 08:25
First comment: 14 April, 2004	166 comments written
Wonder if I got the reference to spiky hair correct...
Mikoangelo	May 12, 2008 10:01
First comment: 19 October, 2005	82 comments written
Guys? It's funny! I give it an E.
Nameless Fairy	May 12, 2008 12:45
First comment: 26 September, 2007	22 comments written
Far, far too much setup for such a simple joke. I felt like I was reading Ctrl+Alt+Del, or perhaps a Sunday Shoe strip.
Nameless	May 12, 2008 13:15
First comment: 29 December, 2004	281 comments written
^ What the fairy said. But rated Good anyway.
Wonderer	May 12, 2008 14:07
First comment: 22 March, 2007	106 comments written
...what?
flatluigi	May 12, 2008 15:59
First comment: 23 November, 2006	28 comments written
It's a special-effects sequence for a special attack, like you'd see in a Final Fantasy game.
Mighty Tater	May 12, 2008 16:36
First comment: 8 February, 2007	15 comments written
But Nameless people, that's the whole point... wait for it...
Deshmeister Prime	May 15, 2008 00:45
First comment: 15 May, 2008	20 comments written
Not bad but too long
MadDawg2552	October 10, 2008 15:50
First comment: 6 October, 2008	69 comments written
It could have done without the close-ups, and the stars in the second close-up are moving in the wrong direction.