Dudley's dungeon

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Monday, 2 October, 2006 by L
                    
                    
                    
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@ "Well, where else did you get all that contradictory stuff?"
                    
                    
                    
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@ "Eek! Something's coming through!"
@ "But what is it?"
                    
                    
                    
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: - a lizardLizards, snakes and the burrowing amphisbaenids make up the
order Squamata, meaning the scaly ones. The elongate, slim,
long-tailed bodies of lizards have become modified to enable
them to live in a wide range of habitats. Lizards can be
expert burrowers, runners, swimmers and climbers, and a few
can manage crude, short-distance gliding on rib-supported
"wings". Most are carnivores, feeding on invertebrate and
small vertebrate prey, but others feed on vegetation.
        [ Macmillan Illustrated Animal Encyclopedia ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
(killer newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
).
@ "Killer newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
?"
                    
                    
                    
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@ "Dudley? Dudley? Ummm.... little help?"
Meanwhile,          
upstairs...         
                    
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d "You're an excellent role model, you know. Abandoning Noobley like that."
                    
                    
                    
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@ "You don't understand! It was a killer newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
! RN GodGoddesses and Gods operate in ones, threesomes, or whole
pantheons of nine or more (see Religion). Most of them claim
to have made the world, and this is indeed a likely claim in
the case of threesomes or pantheons: Fantasyland does have
the air of having been made by a committee. But all Goddesses
and Gods, whether they say they made the world or not, have
very detailed short-term plans for it which they are determined
to carry out. Consequently they tend to push people into the
required actions by the use of coincidence or Prophecy, or just
by narrowing down your available choices of what to do next:
if a deity is pushing you, things will go miserably badly until
there is only one choice left to you.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
is targeting ME personally!"
                    
                    
                    
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d "And I was just about to wrap up my Dear Dogley segment, before you interrupted."
                    
                    
                    
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d "Yelling 'It's not what it seems!' is NOT how you start the most convincing alibi."
                    
                    
                    
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d "You can learn the start of the perfect alibi, as well as other methods of verbal coercion..."
                    
                    
                    
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d "In my new book, Talking Your Hand Out Of The Cookie Jar: A RogueI understand the business, I hear it: to have an open ear, a
quick eye, and a nimble hand, is necessary for a cut-purse; a
good nose is requisite also, to smell out work for the other
senses. I see this is the time that the unjust man doth
thrive. <...> The prince himself is about a piece of iniquity,
stealing away from his father with his clog at his heels: if
I thought it were a piece of honesty to acquaint the king
withal, I would not do't: I hold it the more knavery to
conceal it; and therein am I constant to my profession.
        [ Autolycus the Rogue, from The Winter's Tale by
                William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
's Guide"Rincewind!"
Twoflower sprang off the bed. The wizard jumped back,
wrenching his features into a smile.
"My dear chap, right on time! We'll just have lunch, and
then I'm sure you've got a wonderful programme lined up for
this afternoon!"
"Er --"
"That's great!"
Rincewind took a deep breath. "Look," he said desperately,
"let's eat somewhere else. There's been a bit of a fight
down below."
"A tavern brawl? Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Well, you see, I - _what_?"
"I thought I made myself clear this morning, Rincewind. I
want to see genuine Morporkian life - the slave market, the
Whore Pits, the Temple of Small Gods, the Beggar's Guild...
and a genuine tavern brawl." A faint note of suspicion
entered Twoflower's voice. "You _do_ have them, don't you?
You know, people swinging on chandeliers, swordfights over
the table, the sort of thing Hrun the Barbarian and the
Weasel are always getting involved in. You know --
_excitement_."
        [ The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
To #chat.
"
                    
                    
                    
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d "Available now for a literal steal at $199.99 by calling 857-9309 right NOW!"
                    
                    
                    
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d "No refunds. Expect 6-8 centuries delivery. Pages sold separately."
Meanwhile...        
                    
                    
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The killer newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
is killed!
@ "Good thing this vorpal"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
tin openerLess than thirty Cat tribes now survived, roaming the cargo
decks on their hind legs in a desperate search for food.
But the food had gone.
The supplies were finished.
Weak and ailing, they prayed at the supply hold's silver
mountains: huge towering acres of metal rocks which, in their
pagan way, the mutant Cats believed watched over them.
Amid the wailing and the screeching one Cat stood up and held
aloft the sacred icon. The icon which had been passed down
as holy, and one day would make its use known.
It was a piece of V-shaped metal with a revolving handle on
its head.
He took down a silver rock from the silver mountain, while
the other Cats cowered and screamed at the blasphemy.
He placed the icon on the rim of the rock, and turned the
handle.
And the handle turned.
And the rock opened.
And inside the rock was Alphabetti spaghetti in tomato sauce.
        [ Red Dwarf, by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
came through the portalPortals can be Mirrors, Pictures, Standing Stones, Stone
Circles, Windows, and special gates set up for the purpose.
You will travel through them both to distant parts of the
continent and to and from our own world. The precise manner
of their working is a Management secret.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
earlier."


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Rating

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Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 21

Comments

SomeoneElse October 2, 2006 00:11
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
...Crazy stuff there.
Alcari October 2, 2006 00:51
First comment: 11 September, 2006 93 comments written
""No refunds. Expect 6-8 centuries delivery. Pages sold separately.""

bwahaha
Jac October 2, 2006 01:18
First comment: 26 May, 2006 48 comments written
Too long... is all that Dogley stuff necessary just to show Dudley playing SokobanSokoban (Japanese for "warehouse person") is a puzzle-type
game where the player must push around treasure to a goal
area. It apparently won first prize in a Japanese programming
contest.
        [ Xsokoban web site ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
?
Kal Zekdor October 2, 2006 01:30
First comment: 28 October, 2004 16 comments written
That was great, Dudley was blocking the stairs so the Killer Newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
couldn't get him. Subtle, almost didn't notice that.
Croesus October 2, 2006 02:56
First comment: 2 October, 2006 1 comments written
Off with that dogA domestic animal, the _tame dog_ (_Canis familiaris_), of
which numerous breeds exist. The male is called a dog,
while the female is called a bitch. Because of its known
loyalty to man and gentleness with children, it is the
world's most popular domestic animal. It can easily be
trained to perform various tasks.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
's head!
Gadora October 2, 2006 04:47
First comment: 21 September, 2006 88 comments written
Anyone else wondering how Wes will get back up?

I'm tempted to call that phone number, and see if anyone answers.
  October 2, 2006 05:26
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
I wonder if the misspelling of 867-5309 was intentional.
Alanis Morissette October 2, 2006 12:33
First comment: 2 October, 2006 1 comments written
Does the word "literal" have any literal meaning anymore, or is it just for emphasis now? Can I use it to mean anything I want it to mean, like "smurf" and "ironic?"
SomeoneElse October 2, 2006 13:27
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
The word "literal" is supposed to mean "not in any figure-of-speach way", like "I literally jumped for joy" means you actually jumped.

Some people have mangled the word's use to meean "very". It's annoying.
Roger Barnett October 2, 2006 13:30
First comment: 7 April, 2006 143 comments written
We want more Noobley
Dion October 2, 2006 14:39
First comment: 2 February, 2004 100 comments written
> Some people have mangled the word's use to meean "very". It's annoying.

... so it fits well with the 'advertorial' style Dogley uses.
Feory October 2, 2006 17:50
First comment: 15 August, 2006 63 comments written
So, what's 867-5309 the number for?
Arch Leech October 2, 2006 21:36
First comment: 28 September, 2006 8 comments written
I think it was a misspelling of 8?7-5309.
Alcari October 2, 2006 22:18
First comment: 11 September, 2006 93 comments written
The answer to your question (google, top link)
867-5309
http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/8675309.asp
Rose October 3, 2006 00:02
First comment: 3 July, 2006 79 comments written
Hey, its two comics in one! I like that :)

I think 'literal' is used correctly, with dogley being the one stealing. literal as in actual; pretending to sell but actually stealing
Fathead October 3, 2006 00:38
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
"Vorpal"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
" tin openerLess than thirty Cat tribes now survived, roaming the cargo
decks on their hind legs in a desperate search for food.
But the food had gone.
The supplies were finished.
Weak and ailing, they prayed at the supply hold's silver
mountains: huge towering acres of metal rocks which, in their
pagan way, the mutant Cats believed watched over them.
Amid the wailing and the screeching one Cat stood up and held
aloft the sacred icon. The icon which had been passed down
as holy, and one day would make its use known.
It was a piece of V-shaped metal with a revolving handle on
its head.
He took down a silver rock from the silver mountain, while
the other Cats cowered and screamed at the blasphemy.
He placed the icon on the rim of the rock, and turned the
handle.
And the handle turned.
And the rock opened.
And inside the rock was Alphabetti spaghetti in tomato sauce.
        [ Red Dwarf, by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
? Twisted.
Fathead November 15, 2006 05:55
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
The (killer???) Newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Comics (72)

http://www.nicolaas.net/dudley/index.php?f=20060921 Previous
http://www.nicolaas.net/dudley/index.php?f=20061004 Next
Grognor April 19, 2007 08:41
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Gsssssh...
Grognor April 19, 2007 08:50
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Gsssssh...
1338h4x May 10, 2007 22:49
First comment: 19 September, 2006 102 comments written
But if it's the exact opposite of a regular newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, wouldn't Dudley have no trouble whatsoever against it?
Kerta December 14, 2007 09:29
First comment: 12 December, 2007 72 comments written
x - cursed +7 ExcaliburAt first only its tip was visible, but then it rose, straight,
proud, all that was noble and great and wondrous. The tip of
the blade pointed toward the moon, as if it would cleave it
in two. The blade itself gleamed like a beacon in the night.
There was no light source for the sword to be reflecting
from, for the moon had darted behind a cloud in fear. The
sword was glowing from the intensity of its strength and
power and knowledge that it was justice incarnate, and that
after a slumber of uncounted years its time had again come.
After the blade broke the surface, the hilt was visible, and
holding the sword was a single strong, yet feminine hand,
wearing several rings that bore jewels sparkling with the
blue-green color of the ocean.
        [ Knight Life, by Peter David ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
y - a spellbookThe Book of Three lay closed on the table. Taran had never
been allowed to read the volume for himself; now he was sure
it held more than Dallben chose to tell him. In the sun-
filled room, with Dallben still meditating and showing no
sign of stopping, Taran rose and moved through the shimmering
beams. From the forest came the monotonous tick of a beetle.
His hands reached for the cover. Taran gasped in pain and
snatched them away. They smarted as if each of his fingers
had been stung by hornets. He jumped back, stumbled against
the bench, and dropped to the floor, where he put his fingers
woefully into his mouth.
Dallben's eyes blinked open. He peered at Taran and yawned
slowly. "You had better see Coll about a lotion for those
hands," he advised. "Otherwise, I shouldn't be surprised if
they blistered."
        [ The Book of Three, by Lloyd Alexander ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of blind self.
z - a figurineThen it appeared in Paris at just about the time that Paris
was full of Carlists who had to get out of Spain. One of
them must have brought it with him, but, whoever he was, it's
likely he knew nothing about its real value. It had been --
no doubt as a precaution during the Carlist trouble in Spain
-- painted or enameled over to look like nothing more than a
fairly interesting black statuette. And in that disguise,
sir, it was, you might say, kicked around Paris for seventy
years by private owners and dealers too stupid to see what
it was under the skin.
        [ The Maltese Falcon, by Dashiell Hammett ]

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Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of a statueThen at last he began to wonder why the lion was standing so
still - for it hadn't moved one inch since he first set eyes
on it. Edmund now ventured a little nearer, still keeping in
the shadow of the arch as much as he could. He now saw from
the way the lion was standing that it couldn't have been
looking at him at all. ("But supposing it turns its head?"
thought Edmund.) In fact it was staring at something else -
namely a little dwarf who stood with his back to it about
four feet away. "Aha!" thought Edmund. "When it springs at
the dwarf then will be my chance to escape." But still the
lion never moved, nor did the dwarf. And now at last Edmund
remembered what the others had said about the White Witch
turning people into stone. Perhaps this was only a stone
lion. And as soon as he had thought of that he noticed that
the lion's back and the top of its head were covered with
snow. Of course it must be only a statue!
        [ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
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.
A - a blessed potionPOTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of unholy waterDay after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere
Nor any drop to drink.
        [ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor
         Coleridge ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
B - an antacid blobThese giant amoeboid creatures look like nothing more than
puddles of slime, but they both live and move, feeding on
metal or wood as well as the occasional dungeon explorer to
supplement their diet.

But we were not on a station platform. We were on the track ahead
as the nightmare, plastic column of fetid black iridescence oozed
tightly onward through its fifteen-foot sinus, gathering unholy
speed and driving before it a spiral, re-thickening cloud of the
pallid abyss vapor. It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster
than any subway train -- a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic
bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes
forming and unforming as pustules of greenish light all over the
tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic
penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its
kind had swept so evilly free of all litter.
        [ At the Mountains of Madness, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
corpse

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