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Monday, 21 July, 2008 by Soluphobe
          ----------
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|...|     |........|
|...##### |........|
|...|   # |........|
|...|   ##.........|
|.@.|     ----------
--#--               
###                 
@ "Some joker changed my charset. Now I don't know what any of the monsters are."
          ----------
-----     |........|
|...|     |........|
|...##### |........|
|...|   # |........|
|...|   @#.........|
|...|     ----------
--#--               
###                 
@ "But I don't really mind. It's like I just started playing nethack. Everything is new and fresh."
The hill orcOrcs, bipeds with a humanoid appearance, are related to the
goblins, but much bigger and more dangerous. The average orc
is only moderately intelligent, has broad, muscled shoulders,
a short neck, a sloping forehead and a thick, dark fur.
Their lower eye-teeth are pointing forward, like a boar's.
Female orcs are more lightly built and bare-chested. Not
needing any clothing, they do like to dress in variegated
apparels. Suspicious by nature, orcs live in tribes or
hordes. They tend to live underground as well as above
ground (but they dislike sunlight). Orcs can use all weapons,
tools and armours that are used by men. Since they don't have
the talent to fashion these themselves, they are constantly
hunting for them. There is nothing a horde of orcs cannot
use.
        [ het Boek van de Regels; Het Oog des Meesters ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits! | The hill orcOrcs, bipeds with a humanoid appearance, are related to the
goblins, but much bigger and more dangerous. The average orc
is only moderately intelligent, has broad, muscled shoulders,
a short neck, a sloping forehead and a thick, dark fur.
Their lower eye-teeth are pointing forward, like a boar's.
Female orcs are more lightly built and bare-chested. Not
needing any clothing, they do like to dress in variegated
apparels. Suspicious by nature, orcs live in tribes or
hordes. They tend to live underground as well as above
ground (but they dislike sunlight). Orcs can use all weapons,
tools and armours that are used by men. Since they don't have
the talent to fashion these themselves, they are constantly
hunting for them. There is nothing a horde of orcs cannot
use.
        [ het Boek van de Regels; Het Oog des Meesters ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits! | The hill orcOrcs, bipeds with a humanoid appearance, are related to the
goblins, but much bigger and more dangerous. The average orc
is only moderately intelligent, has broad, muscled shoulders,
a short neck, a sloping forehead and a thick, dark fur.
Their lower eye-teeth are pointing forward, like a boar's.
Female orcs are more lightly built and bare-chested. Not
needing any clothing, they do like to dress in variegated
apparels. Suspicious by nature, orcs live in tribes or
hordes. They tend to live underground as well as above
ground (but they dislike sunlight). Orcs can use all weapons,
tools and armours that are used by men. Since they don't have
the talent to fashion these themselves, they are constantly
hunting for them. There is nothing a horde of orcs cannot
use.
        [ het Boek van de Regels; Het Oog des Meesters ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits! | |...##### |........| |...| # |.@......| |...| ##.........| |...| ---------- --#-- ###
@ "Now that's just not fair!"
Yes, Dudley. It's exactly like NetHack.


http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

002340
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 45

Comments

@ July 21, 2008 02:30
First comment: 26 July, 2004 155 comments written
simply pwn3d.
idontexist July 21, 2008 03:14
First comment: 19 July, 2008 35 comments written
E. This should be on the conduct list. .'s and #'s only
Arle July 21, 2008 03:54
First comment: 2 June, 2008 29 comments written
This one made me laugh quite loudly.
gneek July 21, 2008 05:53
First comment: 18 January, 2008 159 comments written
AWSUM
Loof July 21, 2008 08:45
First comment: 2 May, 2005 22 comments written
lolololololol, or Excellent!
Loof July 21, 2008 08:46
First comment: 2 May, 2005 22 comments written
Oh, and use the power of the ; and / key!
o Hawkes July 21, 2008 10:11
First comment: 21 July, 2008 1 comments written
MWAHAHA!
(And I thought the previous one was bloody good as well.)
Dain July 21, 2008 12:14
First comment: 29 January, 2008 2 comments written
Some people already discussed this possibility on freenode. If you put too many monsters on . or #, your game will crash if you use ; to help you. (but some people made a patch for it)
Mordae July 21, 2008 13:36
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
The quality... it burns, it burns! My question: Which character represents the floor of a room or a doorwayThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
? (Or a hill orcOrcs, bipeds with a humanoid appearance, are related to the
goblins, but much bigger and more dangerous. The average orc
is only moderately intelligent, has broad, muscled shoulders,
a short neck, a sloping forehead and a thick, dark fur.
Their lower eye-teeth are pointing forward, like a boar's.
Female orcs are more lightly built and bare-chested. Not
needing any clothing, they do like to dress in variegated
apparels. Suspicious by nature, orcs live in tribes or
hordes. They tend to live underground as well as above
ground (but they dislike sunlight). Orcs can use all weapons,
tools and armours that are used by men. Since they don't have
the talent to fashion these themselves, they are constantly
hunting for them. There is nothing a horde of orcs cannot
use.
        [ het Boek van de Regels; Het Oog des Meesters ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
...)
Kath July 21, 2008 16:59
First comment: 21 July, 2008 2 comments written
dear godGoddesses and Gods operate in ones, threesomes, or whole
pantheons of nine or more (see Religion). Most of them claim
to have made the world, and this is indeed a likely claim in
the case of threesomes or pantheons: Fantasyland does have
the air of having been made by a committee. But all Goddesses
and Gods, whether they say they made the world or not, have
very detailed short-term plans for it which they are determined
to carry out. Consequently they tend to push people into the
required actions by the use of coincidence or Prophecy, or just
by narrowing down your available choices of what to do next:
if a deity is pushing you, things will go miserably badly until
there is only one choice left to you.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
this is perfect.
GnuoyKun July 21, 2008 18:31
First comment: 21 July, 2008 1 comments written
One of the greatest ones in the history of dudley XD
Ren July 21, 2008 19:45
First comment: 2 April, 2008 35 comments written
E for awEsome.
Soluphobe July 21, 2008 19:51
First comment: 21 July, 2008 6 comments written
Wow, I had no idea the concept was that funny! Thanks!

[rushes to take screenshots]
Callie July 21, 2008 20:30
First comment: 16 July, 2007 31 comments written
The person who rated this Good is wrong.
Dav July 21, 2008 21:30
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
Callie: I think some people just don't want other people to have high-rated comics. I noticed that there are 2 good ratings on yesterday's comic and the previous day's, and I thought they wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
both as perfect as this one -- granted, I wrote one of them. :)

Rated this E, btw.
Vins July 21, 2008 23:14
First comment: 4 April, 2008 13 comments written
It's not my fault....
E
I think this one is slighly better than the previous one.
3 great comics!
And tomorrow???
(I hate the anti-spam question)
E. July 22, 2008 00:01
First comment: 22 July, 2008 1 comments written
Rated E as in Elbereth... Even as they stepped over the threshold a single clear
voice rose in song.

        A Elbereth Gilthoniel,
        silivren penna miriel
        o menel aglar elenath!
        Na-chaered palan-diriel
        o galadhremmin ennorath,
        Fanuilos, le linnathon
        nef aear, si nef aearon!

Frodo halted for a moment, looking back. Elrond was in his
chair and the fire was on his face like summer-light upon the
trees. Near him sat the Lady Arwen. [...]
He stood still enchanted, while the sweet syllables of the
elvish song fell like clear jewels of blended word and melody.
"It is a song to Elbereth," said Bilbo. "They will sing that,
and other songs of the Blessed Realm, many times tonight.
Come on!"
[ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
Wellan July 22, 2008 02:00
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
That would be almost as hard as ascending without moving. Great concept!
Antheridium July 22, 2008 02:27
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
What's there to say.

Although. Part of the reason these have such a high rating is because there haven't been many spectacular comics lately. It's kind of nice to see that someone can still be creative and funny here.
Quint Sakugarne July 22, 2008 03:10
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
Surprisingly, I wasn't as entertained as I expected to be based on these responses. I found last issue to be funnier, to be honest.

Also, minor thing, but why are there #'s leading into the room on the left.

Rated Good.
Slowpoke July 22, 2008 06:07
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
No other rating possible than '#'.
Vins July 22, 2008 09:54
First comment: 4 April, 2008 13 comments written
Quint Sakugarne, have you ever played nethack in text mode?
Quint Sakugarne July 22, 2008 10:02
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
Vins: I'm aware that the original glyph for hallway is #, but there should either be doorways with no doors (.) or with open doors (- or |) in those places, not hallway.

Unless there's something I'm not aware of.
Pix July 22, 2008 10:20
First comment: 17 July, 2008 3 comments written
E as in cockatricEOnce in a great while, when the positions of the stars are
just right, a seven-year-old rooster will lay an egg. Then,
along will come a snake, to coil around the egg, or a toad,
to squat upon the egg, keeping it warm and helping it to
hatch. When it hatches, out comes a creature called basilisk,
or cockatrice, the most deadly of all creatures. A single
glance from its yellow, piercing toad's eyes will kill both
man and beast. Its power of destruction is said to be so
great that sometimes simply to hear its hiss can prove fatal.
Its breath is so venomous that it causes all vegetation
to wither.

There is, however, one creature which can withstand the
basilisk's deadly gaze, and this is the weasel. No one knows
why this is so, but although the fierce weasel can slay the
basilisk, it will itself be killed in the struggle. Perhaps
the weasel knows the basilisk's fatal weakness: if it ever
sees its own reflection in a mirror it will perish instantly.
But even a dead basilisk is dangerous, for it is said that
merely touching its lifeless body can cause a person to
sicken and die.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library)
and other sources ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
corpsE, which is doubly awesome.
CKY July 22, 2008 11:57
First comment: 3 July, 2008 4 comments written
Pix's comment owns.
Arle July 22, 2008 12:11
First comment: 2 June, 2008 29 comments written
Quint, use yer imagination. The charset got swapped, right? Well maybe an open doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
was changed to #.
Mordae July 22, 2008 13:34
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
The amazing thing is that the three best-rated comics of all Dudley-time have been the last three issues. Either our standards have gone down, or we need to con these guys into being regular writers :)
Quint Sakugarne July 22, 2008 20:50
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
Arle: you have a point.

Though, that gives me the idea, why don't we just swap EVERY tile with #. That would be hilarious but completely unplayable. Unless you had less than 10 DEX, in which case you'd be told when you bump into a wall...
Antheridium July 22, 2008 21:02
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
You'd still have the PC cursor to tell you where you wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. So I think in theory it would be playable. But the only way to get anything done would be to use the look command to check everything constantly, which would get really old really fast.
Arle July 23, 2008 07:16
First comment: 2 June, 2008 29 comments written
Okay, whom's the deadbeat that gave this a fair?
The Lurker July 23, 2008 17:40
First comment: 30 May, 2008 2 comments written
Aye - that's just not fair! (Ok, sorry, sorry)

E for Everyone laughed.
Slowpoke July 25, 2008 02:12
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
This recent spate of excellent comics has rendered us unprepared for days and days of silence. I intend to take this most recent comic hostage, by rating it Poor using one additional bogus alias each day, until the problem is corrected!
WoodGnome <{8^} July 25, 2008 14:51
First comment: 25 July, 2008 3 comments written
Where is the up to date Dungeons? Have Dudley and Dogley found the interdimensional holiday resort between levels? We need our Dungeon rations. C Rations. C rations run.
Soluphobe July 26, 2008 15:59
First comment: 21 July, 2008 6 comments written
Yeah, I'm getting nervous. I know this has happened before, but it always worries me when the updates are slow. Has anyone submitted a comic recently?
T-Jack July 26, 2008 16:24
First comment: 16 March, 2008 52 comments written
Well, I did, but Dion didn't reply or anything...
Kernigh July 26, 2008 20:26
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
No, I am a lazy author who left my unsubmitted comics on a hard disk somewhere. Some of my story arcs need improvement.
Kernigh July 26, 2008 20:26
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
No, I am a lazy author who left my unsubmitted comics on a hard disk somewhere. Some of my story arcs need improvement.
idontexist July 26, 2008 23:18
First comment: 19 July, 2008 35 comments written
So somebody thought it would be funny to give this comic a poor, huh? What a (can i use swearwords here?)!!
Slowpoke July 27, 2008 21:47
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
I already explained, the Poor rating will be amended as soon as Dion gives us new comics. It's the act of a desperate man, but I think it will work!
T-Jack July 27, 2008 22:32
First comment: 16 March, 2008 52 comments written
Yeah, man. The only bad thing about this your plan is that Dudley NEVER updates on weekend...
Dol July 28, 2008 00:16
First comment: 27 March, 2007 24 comments written
Carp...I submitted a few strips over a month ago. Unfortunately due to some news references now they're rotten like a 500 turns old corpse.

I have some ideas for a new storyline but it'll take a while to script and implement. Don't hold your breath unless you're wearing an amulet"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
...
Dav July 28, 2008 19:23
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
Slowpoke, you're punishing Soluphobe for something that isn't really his fault.
Dav July 28, 2008 19:25
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
In fact, it's the opposite of his fault, since he's writing new excellent comics. And you aren't, I might add.
Slowpoke July 28, 2008 22:49
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
Dav, I considered several satiric replies, but given the lead-balloon response to the recent New Yorker cover cartoon perhaps I should recognize the zeitgeist for what it is, and abandon that approach in all public websites.

Your defense of Soluphobe's entitlement to a perfect rating ranks right up there with the individual I once heard on the radio, earnestly criticizing Weird Al because "it's, like, he's making fun of rockBilbo saw that the moment had come when he must do something.
He could not get up at the brutes and he had nothing to shoot
with; but looking about he saw that in this place there were
many stones lying in what appeared to be a now dry little
watercourse. Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and
it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one
that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise
throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and
even birds, got out of his way as quick as lightning if they
saw him stoop; and even grownup he had still spent a deal of
his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand,
bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and
throwing sort - indeed he could do lots of things, besides
blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I
haven't time to tell you about. There is no time now. While
he was picking up stones, the spider had reached Bombur, and
soon he would have been dead. At that moment Bilbo threw.
The stone struck the spider plunk on the head, and it dropped
senseless off the tree, flop to the ground, with all its legs
curled up.
        [ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
music!". Uhhhh...
Slowpoke July 29, 2008 01:12
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
And now, as promised, with the arrival of a new comic the 'P' here reverts to an 'E'. (If there is still another, it's not mineMade by Dwarfs. The Rule here is that the Mine is either long
deserted or at most is inhabited by a few survivors who will
make confused claims to have been driven out/decimated by humans/
other Dwarfs/Minions of the Dark Lord. Inhabited or not, this
Mine will be very complex, with many levels of galleries,
beautifully carved and engineered. What was being mined here
is not always evident, but at least some of the time it will
appear to have been Jewels, since it is customary to find
unwanted emeralds, etc., still embedded in the rock of the
walls. Metal will also be present, but only when made up into
armor and weapons (_wondrous_).
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.)
Soluphobe July 30, 2008 15:56
First comment: 21 July, 2008 6 comments written
It's kind of belated, but Slowpoke, what you did was necessary and completely understood. All's fair in Love, War[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, and getting Dion to update the site.
MadDawg2552 October 10, 2008 18:26
First comment: 6 October, 2008 69 comments written
This isn't funny... not one single bit. If his char map was messed with, why didn't he just quitMaltar: [...] I remembered a little saying I learned my first
day at the academy.
Natalie: Yeah, yeah, I know. Winners never quit and quitters
never win.
Maltar: What? No! Winners never quit and quitters should be
cast into the flaming pit of death.
        [ Snow Day, directed by Chris Koch,
         written by Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
the game and fix it? And him saying "...not fair!" in the last panel is his own fault and that's all I'm going to say.

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