Dudley's dungeon

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Thursday, 10 July, 2008 by Eboreg
You fire your M-16  
the acid blobThese giant amoeboid creatures look like nothing more than
puddles of slime, but they both live and move, feeding on
metal or wood as well as the occasional dungeon explorer to
supplement their diet.

But we were not on a station platform. We were on the track ahead
as the nightmare, plastic column of fetid black iridescence oozed
tightly onward through its fifteen-foot sinus, gathering unholy
speed and driving before it a spiral, re-thickening cloud of the
pallid abyss vapor. It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster
than any subway train -- a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic
bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes
forming and unforming as pustules of greenish light all over the
tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic
penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its
kind had swept so evilly free of all litter.
        [ At the Mountains of Madness, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
dies --------- |.......| -.......| |@...%-.| |.......| ------+-|
@ "Let me tell you, the game is a lot easier ever since I got that Dragonskin."
The werejackal fires
an AK-47. You are   
unhurt.  #          
         #          
      ---|---       
      |..@..|       
      |./...|       
######@.....|       
      -------       
@ "I mean, I'm invincible now. Nothing can hurt me."
You fire your M-249 
the goblinNow goblins are cruel, wicked, and bad-hearted.  They make
no beautiful things, but they make many clever ones. They
can tunnel and mine as well as any but the most skilled
dwarves, when they take the trouble, though they are usually
untidy and dirty. Hammers, axes, swords, daggers, pickaxes,
tongs, and also instruments of torture, they make very well,
or get other people to make to their design, prisoners and
slaves that have to work till they die for want of air and
light.
[ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
dies the rotheThe rothe (pronounced roth-AY) is a musk ox-like creature with
an aversion to light. It prefers to live underground near
lichen and moss.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
dies the wood nymphA female creature from Roman and Greek mythology, the nymph
occupied rivers, forests, ponds, etc. A nymph's beauty is
beyond words: an ever-young woman with sleek figure and
long, thick hair, radiant skin and perfect teeth, full lips
and gentle eyes. A nymph's scent is delightful, and her
long robe glows, hemmed with golden threads and embroidered
with rainbow hues of unearthly magnificence. A nymph's
demeanour is graceful and charming, her mind quick and witty.

"Theseus felt her voice pulling him down into fathoms of
sleep.        The song was the skeleton of his dream, and the dream
was full of terror. Demon girls were after him, and a bull-
man was goring him. Everywhere there was blood. There was
pain. There was fear.        But his head was in the nymph's lap
and her musk was about him, her voice weaving the dream. He
knew then that she had been sent to tell him of something
dreadful that was to happen to him later. Her song was a
warning. But she had brought him a new kind of joy, one that
made him see everything differently. The boy, who was to
become a hero, suddenly knew then what most heroes learn
later -- and some too late -- that joy blots suffering and
that the road to nymphs is beset by monsters."
[ The Minotaur by Bernard Evslin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
dies ------------- |...-%...@..-####### |-%....%....| |...../.....| -+-----------
@ "Real ultimate power. Real ultimate power."
The Gnome...  And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
fires an M-82. You die... ------------- |....%......-####### |.%....%.%-.| |.G.........| -|-----------
% "I spoke too soon."
GWTWOD!


http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

32332
Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 13

Comments

Dav July 10, 2008 00:05
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
Makes me want to play the Doom Roguelike.
Slowpoke July 10, 2008 01:29
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
Rated 'S' for Second Amendment.
  July 10, 2008 08:53
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Haha, nice humor in that.
You know, the only problem I see in your little test thing is that people who play tiled get confused.
Hawkes with a wand of death July 10, 2008 09:15
First comment: 10 July, 2008 1 comments written
I liked it. Good I thinks.

Oh, and anon, I play the X version myself, but if you really don't know the answers (which can be picked up pretty quickly if you read this comic long enough), then just jump to the Wiki @ Wikia and tap in whatever it is.
Nameless Fairy July 10, 2008 09:43
First comment: 26 September, 2007 22 comments written
I liked the Doom comic book too, but it doesn't translate so well to Nethack format, especially when the charmingly absurd dialogue is rendered down to the matter-of-fact tone one might use to describe his new house insurance policy.
Wellan July 10, 2008 18:51
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
I don't find it all that funny, but it's true and it's well-executed. F.
gneek July 10, 2008 19:22
First comment: 18 January, 2008 159 comments written
Firearms should be implemented in the next version of NetHack. But not SLASH'EM firearms. SLASH'EM firearms suck.
Quint Sakugarne July 11, 2008 10:11
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
Ooh, the gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
with the gun of death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
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