Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 14 December, 2007 by Richante
                    
                    
                    
                    
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@ "Sometimes I think this dungeon is getting old."
                    
                    
                    
                    
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A trap doorI knew my Erik too well to feel at all comfortable on jumping
into his house. I knew what he had made of a certain palace at
Mazenderan. From being the most honest building conceivable, he
soon turned it into a house of the very devil, where you could
not utter a word but it was overheard or repeated by an echo.
With his trap-doors the monster was responsible for endless
tragedies of all kinds.
        [ The Phantom of the Opera, by Gaston Leroux ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
in the ceiling opens and a rockBilbo saw that the moment had come when he must do something.
He could not get up at the brutes and he had nothing to shoot
with; but looking about he saw that in this place there were
many stones lying in what appeared to be a now dry little
watercourse. Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and
it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one
that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise
throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and
even birds, got out of his way as quick as lightning if they
saw him stoop; and even grownup he had still spent a deal of
his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand,
bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and
throwing sort - indeed he could do lots of things, besides
blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I
haven't time to tell you about. There is no time now. While
he was picking up stones, the spider had reached Bombur, and
soon he would have been dead. At that moment Bilbo threw.
The stone struck the spider plunk on the head, and it dropped
senseless off the tree, flop to the ground, with all its legs
curled up.
        [ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
falls on your head! You die. |......-#### |......| ####### ##-@.d...| --------
d "Yep."


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Rating

00266
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 14

Comments

Kernigh December 14, 2007 01:17
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
Sometimes I will close the doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and kick the doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
until it breaks, so that I may walk diagonally around the trap.
Mordae December 14, 2007 03:25
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
To Kernigh's comment, I sSometimesNearly always/.
Grey Knight December 14, 2007 08:54
First comment: 20 October, 2005 116 comments written
Mordae, maybe you should Nearly Always use the preview button? :-P
Mordae December 14, 2007 15:07
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
Apparently so :) All sorts of unexpected features I've found in the last couple of days. RTFM? Naah, engineers don't need no stinkin' manuals!
Grognor December 15, 2007 01:52
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Okay then. I don't understand the good ratings, as it's not funny. I don't think I'm missing anything, so I shall not allow this author to imbibe a pleasant rating from me.

...
Also, "You die... --More--"
There's the ellipse and the --More--
Statue Trap of Grognor December 15, 2007 03:53
First comment: 15 December, 2007 1 comments written
meh... maybe it's about the dungeon being old and falling apart like a broken-down house... or maybe it's just a weak joke altogether. F to be 'generous'.
Double Trouble of Grognor December 15, 2007 03:55
First comment: 15 December, 2007 1 comments written
RIP
dumb joke
killed by a newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Doppelganger posing as Grognor December 15, 2007 03:56
First comment: 15 December, 2007 1 comments written
I for one, like it. For some reason I can't really understand. roflmao
Grognor's shadow December 15, 2007 03:57
First comment: 15 December, 2007 1 comments written
Why is every1 mimicking Groggy?
RIP Grognor, killed by a giant mimic December 15, 2007 03:59
First comment: 15 December, 2007 1 comments written
you're doing it too...
Richante December 15, 2007 13:43
First comment: 27 August, 2007 32 comments written
Although part of the joke is about the dungeon being old and falling apart, it's meant to be a reference to the "same old" YAAD nethack jokes.
I'm sorry about my --More-- ommission, Grognor, I won't do it again.
Kerta December 15, 2007 17:56
First comment: 12 December, 2007 72 comments written
Feh. You think Dudley has bad luck. I just started a new game. Three silver dragons in the same room...
Mantar December 15, 2007 18:46
First comment: 17 June, 2004 197 comments written
Imbibe? Yeah, he's definitely not going to drink or absorb a pleasant rating -- I'm not sure how that's even possible. (/nitpick on the nitpick)
Oh, and yeah, it was clearly a double meaning of "getting old" in use here. That kind of wordplay got a G from me.
Grognor December 15, 2007 20:28
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
I'll have to admit, I made a mistake. Excellent for subtlety and for being three panels long.
Wellan December 16, 2007 05:42
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
Well, I liked it. Not hilarious, but worth a chuckle. And it sorta cheered me up too. So, then...good.
Grognor's mother December 17, 2007 18:35
First comment: 17 December, 2007 1 comments written
I want you all to stop making fun of my little Grognie.
The Giant Mimic that killed Grognor December 19, 2007 21:58
First comment: 19 December, 2007 1 comments written
LichBut on its heels ere the sunset faded, there came a second
apparition, striding with incredible strides and halting when
it loomed almost upon me in the red twilight-the monstrous mummy
of some ancient king still crowned with untarnished gold but
turning to my gaze a visage that more than time or the worm had
wasted. Broken swathings flapped about the skeleton legs, and
above the crown that was set with sapphires and orange rubies, a
black something swayed and nodded horribly; but, for an instant,
I did not dream what it was. Then, in its middle, two oblique
and scarlet eyes opened and glowed like hellish coals, and two
ophidian fangs glittered in an ape-like mouth. A squat, furless,
shapeless head on a neck of disproportionate extent leaned
unspeakably down and whispered in the mummy's ear. Then, with
one stride, the titanic lich took half the distance between us,
and from out the folds of the tattered sere-cloth a gaunt arm
arose, and fleshless, taloned fingers laden with glowering gems,
reached out and fumbled for my throat . . .
        [ The Abominations of Yondo, Clark Ashton Smith, 1926 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, goblinNow goblins are cruel, wicked, and bad-hearted. They make
no beautiful things, but they make many clever ones. They
can tunnel and mine as well as any but the most skilled
dwarves, when they take the trouble, though they are usually
untidy and dirty. Hammers, axes, swords, daggers, pickaxes,
tongs, and also instruments of torture, they make very well,
or get other people to make to their design, prisoners and
slaves that have to work till they die for want of air and
light.
[ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, lichBut on its heels ere the sunset faded, there came a second
apparition, striding with incredible strides and halting when
it loomed almost upon me in the red twilight-the monstrous mummy
of some ancient king still crowned with untarnished gold but
turning to my gaze a visage that more than time or the worm had
wasted. Broken swathings flapped about the skeleton legs, and
above the crown that was set with sapphires and orange rubies, a
black something swayed and nodded horribly; but, for an instant,
I did not dream what it was. Then, in its middle, two oblique
and scarlet eyes opened and glowed like hellish coals, and two
ophidian fangs glittered in an ape-like mouth. A squat, furless,
shapeless head on a neck of disproportionate extent leaned
unspeakably down and whispered in the mummy's ear. Then, with
one stride, the titanic lich took half the distance between us,
and from out the folds of the tattered sere-cloth a gaunt arm
arose, and fleshless, taloned fingers laden with glowering gems,
reached out and fumbled for my throat . . .
        [ The Abominations of Yondo, Clark Ashton Smith, 1926 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, potionPOTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
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