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Wednesday, 21 November, 2007 by goffrie
This is a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of identify. k - a potionPOTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of Starbucks --------- |.......| |.@.....| ####-.......| ---------
@ "Hmm..."
Quaff k
This tastes like    
coffee!             
You feel awake.     
                    
    ---------       
    |.......|       
    |.@.....|       
####-.......|       
    ---------       
@ "..."
Something is written
on the ground here. 
You read: "Tim      
Hortons, west"      
    ---------       
    |.......|       
    |.......|       
####-.@.....|       
    ---------       
Hello, Dudley!      
Welcome to Tim      
Hortons! You see    
here a potionPOTABLE, n.  Suitable for drinking.  Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of Starbucks. -- |!%%!!%.| |!%%!%!@| |!%%!@%.-##### ---------
@ "I thought this was Tim Hortons?"


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Rating

22340
Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 11

Comments

G November 21, 2007 02:05
First comment: 5 October, 2005 82 comments written
Too many brand names but amusing
Sailor Grognor November 21, 2007 09:04
First comment: 21 November, 2007 1 comments written
A meta-reference to the "advertising" nature of those strips a bit ago? Also, I am guessing "Tim Hortons" is a chain of coffee shops. Presumably it should have an apostrophe.
Grognor November 21, 2007 20:58
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Obviously, this strip is about the expansion of big corporations and how they transform small companies that offer the same products.

There are references everywhere. Just HAXXOR GOOGLE the episode of The Simpsons when Bart wanted an earring and Homer had to pilot a "nucelar" submarine, or that Austin Powers film where StarBucks was a company created by Number Two to make money.

Still, I rate it good.
Grognor November 21, 2007 21:02
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Oh, and that episode of South Park when StarBucks wanted to buy the small coffee shop from that guy.

BTW, STOP IMITATING ME!!! I REGRET STARTING THAT JOKE OF THE FAKE GROGNORS, SO STOP!!!
hpp3 November 21, 2007 22:28
First comment: 21 November, 2007 38 comments written
No, Tim Hortons has no apostrophe.
Slowpoke November 22, 2007 00:03
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
No, I'm the real Grognor.
noleti November 22, 2007 16:46
First comment: 26 June, 2007 7 comments written
G for Tim Hortons goodness. I wish they would sell starbucks coffee to their usual coffe prices though.
Grognor November 24, 2007 02:31
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
This is a comment by the real Grognor. You may ignore those previous two.
Fathead November 27, 2007 19:26
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Bah. There is no real Grognor, fools.

Oh, and Gee for so-stupid-it's-funny deal.
T.K. December 4, 2007 23:56
First comment: 14 October, 2007 13 comments written
I didn't really get the joke, so I won't rate.

Incidentally, I heard that some group did a blind taste test with different types of coffee. Turns out Starbucks has some of the worst coffee out there, and McDonalds, of all places, was rated best. Not sure if it's true or not, but it seems plausible. I'm not a coffee drinker, myself...had a bad experience with that once...let's just say boats+coffee+empty stomach=much unpleasantness
Toby Bartels February 5, 2009 06:43
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
Hey, Tim Hortons is hardly a small shop! In fact, it's the largest coffee chain in Canada, so ... OK, I guess it is just a small shop.

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