Dudley's dungeon

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Thursday, 9 November, 2006 by azgor
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@ "This is the worst day ever!" 
You kick the orcish 
helm.               
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@ "I'm so mad I could kick something!" 
You kick the doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details.   
open!               
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@ "First a nymphA female creature from Roman and Greek mythology, the nymph
occupied rivers, forests, ponds, etc. A nymph's beauty is
beyond words: an ever-young woman with sleek figure and
long, thick hair, radiant skin and perfect teeth, full lips
and gentle eyes. A nymph's scent is delightful, and her
long robe glows, hemmed with golden threads and embroidered
with rainbow hues of unearthly magnificence. A nymph's
demeanour is graceful and charming, her mind quick and witty.

"Theseus felt her voice pulling him down into fathoms of
sleep.        The song was the skeleton of his dream, and the dream
was full of terror. Demon girls were after him, and a bull-
man was goring him. Everywhere there was blood. There was
pain. There was fear.        But his head was in the nymph's lap
and her musk was about him, her voice weaving the dream. He
knew then that she had been sent to tell him of something
dreadful that was to happen to him later. Her song was a
warning. But she had brought him a new kind of joy, one that
made him see everything differently. The boy, who was to
become a hero, suddenly knew then what most heroes learn
later -- and some too late -- that joy blots suffering and
that the road to nymphs is beset by monsters."
[ The Minotaur by Bernard Evslin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. stole my speed boots." 
You kick the ring ofThree Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details.
levitation --More-- 
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@ "Then when I tried to get them back, she stole my bag of"Now, this third handkerchief," Mein Herr proceeded, "has also
four edges, which you can trace continuously round and round:
all you need do is to join its four edges to the four edges of
the opening. The Purse is then complete, and its outer
surface--"
"I see!" Lady Muriel eagerly interrupted. "Its outer surface
will be continuous with its inner surface! But it will take
time. I'll sew it up after tea." She laid aside the bag, and
resumed her cup of tea. "But why do you call it Fortunatus's
Purse, Mein Herr?"
The dear old man beamed upon her, with a jolly smile, looking
more exactly like the Professor than ever. "Don't you see,
my child--I should say Miladi? Whatever is inside that Purse,
is outside it; and whatever is outside it, is inside it. So
you have all the wealth of the world in that leetle Purse!"
        [ Sylvie and Bruno Concluded, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. holding!" 
...but it welds onto
your toe!           
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@ "How could things possibly get any worse!?" 
                    
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Rating

101022
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 24

Comments

Jac November 9, 2006 00:03
First comment: 26 May, 2006 48 comments written
Oh wow. "You feel full of awe"
Dav November 9, 2006 00:25
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
Brilliant.
  November 9, 2006 00:50
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Kind of a poor set up, but the punchline was totally worth it.
Tharis November 9, 2006 01:48
First comment: 12 October, 2005 20 comments written
Very clever.
shel- November 9, 2006 02:14
First comment: 9 November, 2006 1 comments written
(:
Rose November 9, 2006 02:22
First comment: 3 July, 2006 79 comments written
good one!
SomeoneElse November 9, 2006 02:28
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
Wow. Brilliant punchline.
Gadora November 9, 2006 02:50
First comment: 21 September, 2006 88 comments written
SomeoneElse: Shouldn't that be ".moM"?

This has brought a smile into my painful day. Thank you azgor.
Gadora November 9, 2006 02:52
First comment: 21 September, 2006 88 comments written
I just noticed- I'm getting ads for a "Dudley Car."
Grunt November 9, 2006 03:09
First comment: 25 July, 2006 36 comments written
Bwahahahahahahaha.
Eskimo November 9, 2006 07:53
First comment: 14 April, 2004 166 comments written
Even ther helm is correct in the last frame. Great job.
L November 9, 2006 09:47
First comment: 10 February, 2005 285 comments written
Is this the Top 10 Best Comic Ever?
Tux November 9, 2006 09:51
First comment: 6 November, 2006 9 comments written
Good one! really funny!
swilde November 9, 2006 10:21
First comment: 9 November, 2006 1 comments written
The last frame isn't really correct, when the protagonist hangs upside down the top view should have been mirrored by one axis (not by two, which equals to a 180° turn).

But let's stop nitpicking:
It's a great punchline anyway!
A November 9, 2006 10:50
First comment: 24 October, 2006 70 comments written
Excellent!
ThomasLB November 9, 2006 12:20
First comment: 7 September, 2006 13 comments written
One of the best!
Ristipisto-Risto November 9, 2006 12:22
First comment: 25 January, 2006 52 comments written
Awesome. Real, real, real awesome. Laughed out loud with that!
Veinor November 9, 2006 14:07
First comment: 1 November, 2006 12 comments written
You rockBilbo saw that the moment had come when he must do something.
He could not get up at the brutes and he had nothing to shoot
with; but looking about he saw that in this place there were
many stones lying in what appeared to be a now dry little
watercourse. Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and
it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one
that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise
throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and
even birds, got out of his way as quick as lightning if they
saw him stoop; and even grownup he had still spent a deal of
his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand,
bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and
throwing sort - indeed he could do lots of things, besides
blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I
haven't time to tell you about. There is no time now. While
he was picking up stones, the spider had reached Bombur, and
soon he would have been dead. At that moment Bilbo threw.
The stone struck the spider plunk on the head, and it dropped
senseless off the tree, flop to the ground, with all its legs
curled up.
        [ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details..
snafu November 9, 2006 14:33
First comment: 3 November, 2006 15 comments written
Simply brilliant!
Roger Barnett November 9, 2006 17:50
First comment: 7 April, 2006 143 comments written
A great bit of work!
. November 9, 2006 18:58
First comment: 7 December, 2005 48 comments written
At first I didn't notice that he was upside-down in the last frame. That was really good.
Gnome w /oPoly November 9, 2006 22:19
First comment: 9 November, 2006 5 comments written
Had that same thing happen to me a while ago. Not the ringThree Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. bit, but the theft bit. And they got my magic resistance cloakCloaks are the universal outer garb of everyone who is not a
Barbarian. It is hard to see why. They are open in front
and require you at most times to use one hand to hold them
shut. On horseback they leave the shirt-sleeved arms and
most of the torso exposed to wind and Weather. The OMTs
[ Official Management Terms ] for Cloaks well express their
difficulties. They are constantly _swirling and dripping_
and becoming _heavy with water_ in rainy Weather, _entangling
with trees_ or _swords_, or needing to be _pulled close
around her/his shivering body_. This seems to suggest they
are less than practical for anyone on an arduous Tour.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. and I was a wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. so... rar. But this makes it all better.
A November 9, 2006 23:13
First comment: 24 October, 2006 70 comments written
Dion: I get things like this all the time here:
Parse error: parse error, expecting `')'' in /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/ratings/ratings.lst on line 1757

Warning: Cannot add header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/ratings/ratings.lst:1757) in /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/index.php on line 337

Warning: Cannot add header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/ratings/ratings.lst:1757) in /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/index.php on line 338

Warning: Cannot add header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/ratings/ratings.lst:1757) in /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/index.php on line 340

Warning: Cannot add header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/ratings/ratings.lst:1757) in /home/sites/site408/webOh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
        [ Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details./dudley/index.php on line 341
A November 9, 2006 23:14
First comment: 24 October, 2006 70 comments written
Also I note that all ratings are reset to 0. Odd.
Fathead November 13, 2006 02:56
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Cute!
Oxeye Daisy November 15, 2006 19:10
First comment: 14 November, 2006 7 comments written
Hee hee! Visual gags are funny.
Grognor April 20, 2007 08:11
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Incredible.
Universally voted excellent.
1338h4x May 10, 2007 23:56
First comment: 19 September, 2006 102 comments written
Visual jokes are always best, and Nethack ones require a ton of cleverness. Bravo.
Quint Sakugarne January 2, 2008 18:00
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
This one is so good it hasn't gotten anything BUT excellent ratings. This is historic. *bookmarks this*

Also, swilde, this isn't a realistic representation; it's a Nethack representation of being upside-down.
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