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Friday, 3 June, 2005 by L
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  |+?????.|         
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Your cell phone starts ringing. It plays the Mexican Hat Dance.
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@ "Hello?... I'm in a shop... Yes, I'm not wearing the shirt! Uh, yeah... Bye, mom."
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@ "Excuse me Ballingeary, now where wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
we?"
@ "That scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
for 50. Take it or leave it."


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Rating

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Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 7

Comments

Nesman June 3, 2005 00:39
First comment: 4 January, 2005 112 comments written
I think this is a touristThe road from Ankh-Morpork to Chrim is high, white and
winding, a thirty-league stretch of potholes and half-buried
rocks that spirals around mountains and dips into cool green
valleys of citrus trees, crosses liana-webbed gorges on
creaking rope bridges and is generally more picturesque than
useful.
Picturesque. That was a new word to Rincewind the wizard
(BMgc, Unseen University [failed]). It was one of a number
he had picked up since leaving the charred ruins of
Ankh-Morpork. Quaint was another one. Picturesque meant --
he decided after careful observation of the scenery that
inspired Twoflower to use the word -- that the landscape was
horribly precipitous. Quaint, when used to describe the
occasional village through which they passed, meant fever-
ridden and tumbledown.
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld.
Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant "idiot".
        [ The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
we're looking at. :)
Beowulf June 3, 2005 00:47
First comment: 8 January, 2005 114 comments written
One time my Mom actually called my cell phone while I was playing NetHack. I forgot to tell her I was playing but when she asked me where I was I said "Itzack's general store".
"You're where?"
"Oh, I'm playing NetHack. Sorry"
It would have been funnier if I had been in a liquer emporium. She would have freaked out. Hehehe
ihope June 3, 2005 01:42
First comment: 20 April, 2005 67 comments written
Hehe.
korodzik@poczta.onet.pl June 3, 2005 14:16
First comment: 20 April, 2005 23 comments written
What shirt???
eneekmot@yahoo.com June 3, 2005 15:21
First comment: 29 December, 2004 57 comments written
Tourists start with a hawaiian shirt. Either the shirt heavilly boosts the cost of items in shops, or they get it as an intristic.
blindcoder June 3, 2005 17:32
First comment: 21 March, 2005 27 comments written
IzchakThe shopkeeper of the lighting shop in the town level of the
gnomish mines is a tribute to Izchak Miller, a founding member
of the NetHack development team and a personal friend of a large
number of us. Izchak contributed greatly to the game, coding a
large amount of the shopkeep logic (hence the nature of the tribute)
as well as a good part of the alignment system, the prayer code and
the rewrite of "hell" in the 3.1 release. Izchak was a professor
of Philosophy, who taught at many respected institutions, including
MIT and Stanford, and who also worked, for a period of time, at
Xerox PARC. Izchak was the first "librarian" of the NetHack project,
and was a founding member of the DevTeam, joining in 1986 while he
was working at the University of Pennsylvania (hence our former
mailing list address). Until the 3.1.3 release, Izchak carefully
kept all of the code synchronized and arbitrated disputes between
members of the development teams. Izchak Miller passed away at the
age of 58, in the early morning hours of April 1, 1994 from
complications due to cancer. We then dedicated NetHack 3.2 in his
memory.
                [ Mike Stephenson, for the NetHack DevTeam ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
doesn't have a general store.
  June 3, 2005 20:32
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
He doesn't? Oh well, it was someone's general store but I din't really remember who owned it.
Eemeli June 3, 2005 20:42
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
Or maybe IzchakThe shopkeeper of the lighting shop in the town level of the
gnomish mines is a tribute to Izchak Miller, a founding member
of the NetHack development team and a personal friend of a large
number of us. Izchak contributed greatly to the game, coding a
large amount of the shopkeep logic (hence the nature of the tribute)
as well as a good part of the alignment system, the prayer code and
the rewrite of "hell" in the 3.1 release. Izchak was a professor
of Philosophy, who taught at many respected institutions, including
MIT and Stanford, and who also worked, for a period of time, at
Xerox PARC. Izchak was the first "librarian" of the NetHack project,
and was a founding member of the DevTeam, joining in 1986 while he
was working at the University of Pennsylvania (hence our former
mailing list address). Until the 3.1.3 release, Izchak carefully
kept all of the code synchronized and arbitrated disputes between
members of the development teams. Izchak Miller passed away at the
age of 58, in the early morning hours of April 1, 1994 from
complications due to cancer. We then dedicated NetHack 3.2 in his
memory.
                [ Mike Stephenson, for the NetHack DevTeam ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
's lightning store...
Netaddict June 4, 2005 08:26
First comment: 14 April, 2004 34 comments written
To continue the anality, it would be "lighting" not "lightning" ;-)
Eemeli June 4, 2005 08:54
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
Thanks for the correction =) It took me few google searches to look that it really is lighting, somehow it sounds weird...
"Anality"? Even my dictionary didn't know that word.
Well, I'm off to summer holiday, so don't care about my grammar.
Kernigh June 4, 2005 22:25
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
288 killed in monster scare
Dateline TURKESTAN - The National GuardThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
was called to metropolitan Turkestan after a large koboldThe race of kobolds are reputed to be an artificial creation
of a master wizard (demi-god?). They are about 3' tall with
a vaguely dog-like face. They bear a violent dislike of the
Elven race, and will go out of their way to cause trouble
for Elves at any time.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hypothetically terrorized the center of the city. Hospitals are overloaded and the death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
toll currently stands at 135.

The large koboldThe race of kobolds are reputed to be an artificial creation
of a master wizard (demi-god?). They are about 3' tall with
a vaguely dog-like face. They bear a violent dislike of the
Elven race, and will go out of their way to cause trouble
for Elves at any time.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, which emerged from a dungeon entrance at the R Street subway station, wielded 8 daggers, looted a large boxDantes rapidly cleared away the earth around the chest. Soon
the center lock appeared, then the handles at each end, all
delicately wrought in the manner of that period when art made
precious even the basest of metals. He took the chest by the
two handles and tried to lift it, but it was impossible. He
tried to open it; it was locked. He inserted the sharp end
of his pickaxe between the chest and the lid and pushed down
on the handle. The lid creaked, then flew open.
Dantes was seized with a sort of giddy fever. He cocked his
gun and placed it beside him. The he closed his eyes like a
child, opened them and stood dumbfounded.
The chest was divided into three compartments. In the first
were shining gold coins. In the second, unpolished gold
ingots packed in orderly stacks. From the third compartment,
which was half full, Dantes picked up handfuls of diamonds,
pearls and rubies. As they fell through his fingers in a
glittering cascade, they gave forth the sound of hail beating
against the windowpanes.
        [ The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and 1 garbage cans, and cursed bystanders and their T shirts. The large koboldThe race of kobolds are reputed to be an artificial creation
of a master wizard (demi-god?). They are about 3' tall with
a vaguely dog-like face. They bear a violent dislike of the
Elven race, and will go out of their way to cause trouble
for Elves at any time.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
then allegedly retreated into Turkestan Lake. City officials are hoping that the koboldThe race of kobolds are reputed to be an artificial creation
of a master wizard (demi-god?). They are about 3' tall with
a vaguely dog-like face. They bear a violent dislike of the
Elven race, and will go out of their way to cause trouble
for Elves at any time.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
was not wearing an amulet of"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
magical breathing.

The incident did not affect two comic readers, but a shopkeeperThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
awarded the large koboldThe race of kobolds are reputed to be an artificial creation
of a master wizard (demi-god?). They are about 3' tall with
a vaguely dog-like face. They bear a violent dislike of the
Elven race, and will go out of their way to cause trouble
for Elves at any time.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
as Employee of the Month.

Mayor Kernigh polymorphed himself into a grid bugThese electronically based creatures are not native to this
universe. They appear to come from a world whose laws of
motion are radically different from ours.

Tron looked to his mate and pilot. "I'm going to check on
the beam connection, Yori. You two can keep a watch out for
grid bugs." Tron paced forward along the slender catwalk
that still seemed awfully insubstantial to Flynn, though he
knew it to be amazingly sturdy. He gazed after Tron, asking
himself what in the world a grid bug was, and hoping that the
beam connection -- to which he'd given no thought whatsoever
until this moment -- was healthy and sound."
[ Tron, novel by Brian Daley, story by Steven Lisberger ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
for the occasion and zapped a reporter. The fallen speech notes became a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of summon monster.

A llama wearing a cursed T shirt complained, "I only used my potions of paralysis in the inadvertent manner!"
Simon Richard Clarkstone June 4, 2005 23:43
First comment: 6 February, 2005 18 comments written
Er, Kernigh, have you written an automatic generato for these things, or have there not been as many as I recall?
Plague June 5, 2005 01:10
First comment: 31 January, 2005 102 comments written
Hmm... I believe Kernigh is horribly versed in PERL and copied a bunch of code from the nethack sources and PERLed it. That would be funny, NetHack: The PERL version.
Kernigh June 5, 2005 04:34
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
It is intentionally similar to automatic generation (with inconsistent count, one things, random adverbs, ...). "Turkestan" must have a huge cell towerTowers (_brooding_, _dark_) stand alone in Waste Areas and
almost always belong to Wizards. All are several stories high,
round, doorless, virtually windowless, and composed of smooth
blocks of masonry that make them very hard to climb. [...]
You will have to go to a Tower and then break into it at some
point towards the end of your Tour.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. An @ with coverage deep inside the dungeon must have a lot of money.

I also learned that there actually was a Minetown Digger: http://pages.videotron.com/curlypp/digger/
Fathead June 6, 2006 23:26
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Wow, gee.
tjf311@hotmail.com April 8, 2007 03:33
First comment: 6 April, 2007 4 comments written
Once i got a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of Yum Yum and it turned out to be a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of bless weapon... i shortly afterward starved to death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.

how the heck do you type the symbol for a fountainRest! This little Fountain runs
Thus for aye: -- It never stays
For the look of summer suns,
Nor the cold of winter days.
Whose'er shall wander near,
When the Syrian heat is worst,
Let him hither come, nor fear
Lest he may not slake his thirst:
He will find this little river
Running still, as bright as ever.
Let him drink, and onward hie,
Bearing but in thought, that I,
Erotas, bade the Naiad fall,
And thank the great god Pan for all!
        [ For a Fountain, by Bryan Waller Procter ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
?
Grognor April 12, 2007 07:26
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
FountainRest! This little Fountain runs
Thus for aye: -- It never stays
For the look of summer suns,
Nor the cold of winter days.
Whose'er shall wander near,
When the Syrian heat is worst,
Let him hither come, nor fear
Lest he may not slake his thirst:
He will find this little river
Running still, as bright as ever.
Let him drink, and onward hie,
Bearing but in thought, that I,
Erotas, bade the Naiad fall,
And thank the great god Pan for all!
        [ For a Fountain, by Bryan Waller Procter ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
= {
awesome the thing May 31, 2008 00:49
First comment: 31 May, 2008 3 comments written
It's lighting emporium, not lighting store.

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